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How to Turn Grief into Joy
RobinRenee Bridges
I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me, I was with my
daddy when his spirit left his body. I drove him to the
emergency room because he was having chest pains. He said
that they weren't too bad, and his color was good. He was
still walking.
In fact, Daddy walked into the cubicle in the ER and hopped
up on the gurney. Almost as quickly, he hopped off saying,
"Whew, doggie! Feels like somebody's got a knife in my back,
right between my shoulder blades." Daddy said it with a
great big grin on his face. That's just the way my Daddy
was.
A few minutes later his aorta ruptured spilling his
lifeblood into his chest cavity. His lips quivered briefly
as he said, "I'll see you in a little while."
The moment his spirit was free from his body, an ethereal
serenity bathed the room and flowed out into the bustling
hallway. The emergency department took on a surreal silence,
as all motion and sound seemed to slow…then to stop. I was
embraced by a joyous warmth so real that it was
overwhelmingly palpable. We were no longer separate. Daddy's
spirit enfolded and permeated my being.
Is there any way to retain your loved one's presence while
navigating the valley of grief? Yes, there are some things
you can do right away.
First, suspend your doubting mind. Whether you look at life
after death spiritually, or logically as the natural
culmination of evolution, or through the evidence of quantum
physics, you come up with the same answers. Probabilities
indicate that life continues after the death of the physical
body.
Second, understand that your loved one is still here with
you. Don't say, "Yeah, right!" Suspend your doubts. Go
somewhere quiet; somewhere you can be alone, even if it's a
closet. Close your eyes. Get still inside, and just stand
there, or sit there and breathe. Give yourself a few minutes
to calm yourself. And then imagine how you would feel with
your loved one standing right beside you—so close that you
can hear him breathe and feel his body heat. Pretend, if you
will.
Your loved one has not "passed away" anywhere. In reality
he's closer to you than your heartbeat. There's a thin veil
between heaven and earth. Your loved one has simply passed
through that veil. S/he can still hear you, see you, and
touch you, but your physical body is a barrier to your being
able to perceive your loved one.
Third, when you're quiet inside, ask him something simple
like "Are you here with me?"
Ahh HAH! Where did that "Yes" come from? Inside your head?
Well sort of, but there's more to it than that.
Psychologists say that we all have an inner child and an
internalized parent within us. In a similar way you have
internalized your loved one. So what you hear are partly the
characteristics of your loved one that you have internalized
and partly the still living, growing, eternal character of
your loved one surrounding you in the spirit world.
The body is a mechanical device powered by chemistry. The
living, thinking, loving, remembering, planning, and
dreaming part of you is LIFE, and it is eternal. Life cannot
be destroyed. At the death of the mechanical, chemical body
the eternal living consciousness of you is immediately aware
of a sublime freedom. You are capable of seeing your spirit
body for the first time. And it is exquisite.
Jesus called the afterlife "heaven." He said that it's "at
hand" (Matthew 4:17). He also said that it's "within" (Luke
17:21). He called it "paradise." Jesus told the dying thief
on the cross that he would be with Him in paradise today
(Luke 23:43). That clearly indicates that there is no
waiting period between life and the afterlife. Your loved
one is in heaven, or paradise, right now. And that paradise
is "at hand" and "within you."
The New Testament says that we have a natural body and a
spiritual body (1 Corinthians 15:44). It says that the
things we can see are temporary, but the things we cannot
see are eternal (2 Corinthians 4:18). Jesus referred to the
spiritual body when He said that people who live in Him and
believe in Him would never die but have everlasting life.
As for the logical culmination of evolution, logic requires
that there be an afterlife. Nature naturally selects the
characteristics of living creatures. Qualities that insure
survival are chosen over other qualities. If life ends at
the grave, why have humans evolved so many qualities that
they have little or no use for on earth? Altruism, charity,
honor, patience, fidelity, etc. have little value in a
society where materialism, war, and self-interest prevail.
Humility and service do not generate financial gain or the
acquisition of power. They are a handicap, if anything. Yet,
they persist as character traits in the majority of people.
Man is driven more by abstractions like love, loyalty,
accomplishment, curiosity and discovery than by simple
biological directives. Why?
An unborn child develops arms, legs, eyes, and lungs because
it will need them to function in the world into which it
will be born. Man develops compassion, devotion, generosity,
hope, understanding, and trustworthiness (to name but a few)
because he will need them to function in the world into
which he will be born when he leaves the physical body.
And in the same way that an unborn child is not separate
from the world of his family, we are not separate from the
loved ones that have passed through the veil.
And what if the quantum physicists are right? What if we
really do live in a world with multiple dimensions…a
holographic world? The mystics and the prophets have
insisted that this world is an illusion for millennia. A
holographic universe would mean that our bodies, our houses,
our cities, and even the stars above us are a mirage. Those
dimensions are all around us as the physicists are
discovering, and those dimensions really do influence our
world. What if other dimensions are the "mansions" that
Jesus referred to?
Your loved one is still here with you. He's part of a
dimension that you cannot perceive—yet. You are a spiritual
creature having a human experience. You have spiritual
senses that you can use to communicate with and become aware
of your loved ones in heaven. It's done through focused
prayer and meditation. In Matthew 5:4 Jesus said, "Blessed
are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted." That's
His promise. Believe it. Experience it.
©Copyright 2005 Robbin Renee Bridges
About the Author:
RobinRenee Bridges has been a chaplain and officer in The
Sanctuary for more than thirty years. She is the author of
"A Bridge of Love between Heaven and Earth: Self-Induced
Contact in the Afterlife." For more articles about death,
dying, and the afterlife visit her web site at:
http://www.spirit-sanctuary.org
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